I was coming back from trying to get some (well, now one) new tires. I’m driving on the particularly tiny Gull Haven Drive, which goes straight through a golf course, and only has room for one car on it (traffic going the other way has to pull over if there’s a car oncoming). So this white minivan is riding my ass, and even trying to pass me. He was mostly in my blind spot so I sped up since I was uncomfortable. Then, when pulling off of Gull Have Dr. onto a larger road he pulled the same sh*t again and so I sped up again since I didn’t want him hitting my back driver’s side. Well, he starts following me. I turn up and down the back roads of my local neighborhood, just turn after turn after turn, and he still keeps following me. Eventually he just stopped moving, it was weird, but I still didn’t feel safe so I made a right, another right, a left, and then started accelerating down one of the widest back roads, passing a car in doing so. Apparently I did at just the right time because a police officer pulled out of one of the blocks and put the lights on.
Thank god she was a really nice lady. I explained everything, and she was just like “okay relax, if he passes by honk the horn and I’ll stop him.” I didn’t get any fines, but with everything going on that’s all I really cared about. She let me off, not even a warning or anything, she just told me I’d made the right choice by not going home, but gave me further advice in case this happens again. It’s all just so nerve-wracking.
That I’d be able to hang on to some of this paycheck. Looks like I’m going to get f*cked out of most of my money again though.
$180 for shocks.
$48 for break pads.
$70 for alignment.
= $368 + $32.20 (8.75% NYS sales tax) = $400.2
If not more than that.
My paycheck is for $540. I still need to pay for gas, and the food my father won’t buy.
I really wish I had the financial backing of at least an average household.
I want to go back to school. I want to so badly. I’ve had to wait so long just to get everything in order. However, now that the opportunity is making it look like I can finally return, when things are finally doing better and I can save money, shit keeps breaking down, to the point where I’m just as bad off as I was before. I can’t even risk buying or doing one nice thing for myself. I thought “maybe it’d be nice to buy this game and play with my g/f sometimes.” Then no, I’m sorry, but I have to get even more car repairs done. I can’t risk $80 on myself. It’s really taking it’s fucking toll on my psyche.
I can usually roll with shitty situations. Out of most everybody I know, I’d say I probably take bad news and bad situations the best. I’m just used to things being shitty, so I don’t even notice how shitty it is, and my optimism makes it a non-issue. Tonight I couldn’t help but look at my finances, the people around me, my situation, my future that’s looking more and more negative each passing day, and just break down crying on the kitchen counter. I don’t cry. I really don’t. This is really fucked up.
Even before things started getting serious between us, whenever this song came on she was all I could think about. I’ve been reciting the lyrics to this in my head all day now. It still fits how I feel.
Maybe if I never set a goal for myself again I'd actually be successful.
Anytime I try to set a certain budget, or save, or anything, something comes up in the f*cking way. “Roger, I need money to pay for this,” “I need to borrow money,” or maybe my car breaks down and I have to pay for that. Maybe you could:
A) Quit smoking. That will save you $70 a week.
B) Not go to the bar all the f*cking time. $100+ per paycheck.
C) Pay the bills on time instead of letting the balances roll.
I’m really trying to get ahead here, and this is really f*cking it up for me.